I have finally come to the conclusion that I am too scared to begin,

my procrastination is my way of protecting myself from failure…..

I constantly think of what i want to be doing, I make list after lists & I talk about new ideas and how I can do them…then comes the nerves and anxiety about the outcomes. I’m a bit of a perfectionist too so if things don’t meet my expectations, I don’t deal with it very well.

So being forced to leave my position as an educator something i had wanted to be for as long as I can remember, has been extremely difficult and has forced me into finding a new career for my future (Once able).  So many emotions have come & gone then back again, a constant whirlpool of pain, stress & not knowing what the future holds.

In all the many months of time home alone while my peeps ( family) were at work and school and I only had my gorgeous Dixie (Beaglier) for company, I bravely told my Husband that I didn’t want to return to working in a childcare centre on a permanent bases when my shoulder recovered, I wanted to follow my artistic passions and try to make a living from them. He was amazingly & predictably supportive of what i need to do. we both agreed though I need to find some other form of paid work to supplement it until it all takes off ….because that’s what I’m going to achieve!!!!

NEXT POST :- See the choices i have made